The Pendulum Is Swinging Back!!!

If you follow my blog, you know that I am a believer in the free range kid movement.  I think that society focuses on the rare, statistical anomalies in terms of horrible events - "horrible" defined as kids getting kidnapped, murdered, tortured, neglected, or otherwise treated badly.  Crime rates are down from when I was a kid, significantly down in some areas, and today's kids have a bigger chance to get hit by lightning then  get hurt by strangers.

I noticed something this past week.  The fear mongering seems to be going away.  Yes, the media played up that poor girl in Colorado who disappeared, but people still take their kids to the park.  This past Halloween, I saw several groups of  older kids (8+ years old)  walking around without parents.  For younger kids, the parents dressed up in costume and walked with them from house to house.  No one drove their kid around and no one seemed stressed out.

I hope that this is a sign of better attitudes to come.  I hope that parents will realize kids need to run around outside, that kids need some unsupervised time so that they can learn to manage their own activities.  Kids also need to learn, on a gut-level, that they are okay without their parents.

Has anyone else noticed the shift?

My (Not Really) Famous Cookies for Halloween!!!

Not my cookies,
merely a close
representation.

I almost forgot to mention this, but I will be handing out cookies again tonight.  Last year, all of the kids  loved getting chocolate chip cookies to eat while trick-or-treating.  What surprised me was that all of the parents loved their kids getting cookies during the evening's escapades.  Not one parent looked suspiciously at the cookies, refused the cookies, or ask for all of my identifying information to give to the police when their child ended up in the emergency room from poison.  All in all, I felt very positive about the entire experience.

So, this year I will again bake chocolate chip cookies this afternoon (though I am thinking about making oatmeal raisin cookies instead).  Then tonight I will again act against the fear mongering in society and give the cookies to kids as they walk up to the front door.

Of course, part of me thinks it's silly to feel like a rebel for baking cookies.  But another part of me wonders how we came to a time when it is an small act of rebellion to bake cookies and hand them out to children.

Trust - It's Not Just for Breakfast Anymore

East Cobb Park - a place to run around and play

For those of you new to my blog, I avidly read and follow the Free Range Kids blog by Lenore Skenazy.  I raise my kids to be free range, roaming our neighborhood and a few surrounding neighborhoods in an effort to help them learn to be self-reliable.  I rail against the fear mongering as propagated through the supposed news media, as every single little potential incident gets blow up and reported as though it was happening it your own backyard.  I rail against the stupidity of school systems which all but ban a child either arriving at school alone or leaving school alone.  After all, what might happen if a child walks home alone or with a friend??  

But today, I want to ask the question - what happened to our trust in society?  What happened to trusting your neighbors, to other humans?

Back in the 1970s and 1980s, I rode my bike or walked to school.  I had friends to talk to sometimes; I had time to think and enjoy nature at other times.  I learned that I was okay by myself, and that I didn't need someone else around for me to be okay.  I met neighbors, both old and young.  I felt like part of a community.

Fast forward to today, and see how much the world has changed.  Moms and dads schedule playdates for their kids, who have no other way of meeting friends.  Some moms even refuse to schedule a playdate if the dad is the only parent present at the other house.  A woman called 9-1-1 to report a man who talked to her daughter.  Yes, the man's only "crime" was speaking to a little girl outside.  (The man was looking for his lost puppy.)  Another woman called 9-1-1 because a van was slowly following the school bus in her neighborhood.  The reason behind this act completely eluded me, since any vehicles following a school bus in a neighborhood drive slowly, or risk hitting a child.  But then I learned the van was driven by a Hispanic man.

What are we really so afraid of?

In Sweden, mothers frequently leave their occupied strollers outside a store if a baby is sleeping or resting happily.  When asked why, the common response is "Why not?  Everyone watches out for babies." The same is true for toddlers, preschoolers, little kids, big kids, and even teens.

So why can't we Americans learn to trust our neighbors, our community, as much as Europeans?

If we trust our neighbors, then our kids can play outside without parents worrying about nebulous danger.  If our kids play outside, they get exercise, get practice making friends, learn how to navigate their own corner of the world, and - most importantly - learn to rely on themselves.  We help our children grow into responsible adults.

But only if we are willing to put down the mantle of fear, and retake the mantle of trust.

The Greater Evil Behind Trayvon Martin's Death

Raise your hand if you have ever watched a B-grade movie where the villain turns out to be a pawn.  At the very end of the movie, sometimes even after the credits roll, a silhouette of a man appears, sometimes smoking a cigar, remarking that the loss of the villain is only a minor setback; the plan still thrives and continues.

That's how I feel about the shooting of Trayvon Martin.  George Zimmerman is the movie villain, but he is in the end the lesser evil of the situation.  The Greater Evil is more ominous, more hideous, hiding behind shadows, using talking heads to disseminate diversions to the public in order to cover up its true nature.  And the Greater Evil is working overtime at the moment.

First, it tried to use the Stand Your Ground law to exonerate Zimmerman, but public outcry at the fact that Zimmerman instigated any confrontation soon made that untenable.  Then it tried to use self-defense, but again that particular tactic does not seem to have a mollifying effect.  So it switched to attacking Trayvon Martin, spreading rumors about his supposed marijuana use at school and even blaming the incident on his hoodie.

The Greater Evil produces fear mongering, sowing new crops of terror at every turn, until the mere present of a young, black man spooks an older man into calling 911 and acting as a vigilante.  For that matter, the Greater Evil produces the atmosphere where a vigilante feels justified in his actions.  Property and material goods suddenly carry more worth to the general public than a human life.  Requests for personal liberty slam into accusations of "If you don't have anything to hide, why do you care?"   And if you even think too loudly about protesting or happen to be near a protest (regardless of your involvement), police show up at your proverbial door and try to intimidate you into silence.

Sadly, the fate of George Zimmerman means nothing in the end if we do not work against this Greater Evil.  Worse, Trayvon Martin's death will be in vain.  But what are you willing to sacrifice, what are you willing to do to stop this infection in our society from claiming another innocent life?

My Halloween Mission: Chocolate Chip Cookies

When I was growing up, my sister and I went trick or treating alone, from house to house, all around our neighborhood or town (depending on where we lived at the time).  We received packaged candies, apples, and homemade treats such as brownies or cookies.  Mom and Dad never checked our candy or treats for "tampering" nor did they limit how much we ate.  (They believed a stomach ache cured all children of overeating candy.  It did.)

Then the fear mongering began. Suddenly, only psychopathic child haters gave out homemade treats or fresh fruit.  Parents needed to accompany children of all ages trick or treating, since children somehow magically lost the ability to do this alone.  Packaged candy needs to carefully examined by a responsible adult to ensure the candy isn't poisoned.

Where did our common sense go?  How did it get to be so bad?

This year, I am going to rebel against the fear mongering, against the insanity of it all.  This year, I am going to make homemade chocolate chip cookies and hand them out in sandwich bags as treats.  I may even include my phone number, so that concerned parents can call and ask me questions.

Why am I doing this?

Because someone has to.  Someone needs to point out the wrongness of this situation.  And it might as well be me.  The only question I have is, how many people are willing to join me?  Will you give out homemade treats or fresh fruit this year?  If the answer is "yes", please leave me a comment and I'll cheer you on.  If the answer is "no", I'd like to know why.