One Gourd to Rule Them All...

I have no idea who carved this, but being a Tolkien fan, I had to share.  :-D

Top 10 Reasons Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex

10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
 9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
 7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
 6. Person giving you candy doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
 5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.
 4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.
 3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
 2. Less guilt the next morning.

and, the #1 reason trick or treating is better than sex...

 1. If you don't get want you want, you can always go next door!

Happy Halloween!!!

My Halloween Mission: Chocolate Chip Cookies

When I was growing up, my sister and I went trick or treating alone, from house to house, all around our neighborhood or town (depending on where we lived at the time).  We received packaged candies, apples, and homemade treats such as brownies or cookies.  Mom and Dad never checked our candy or treats for "tampering" nor did they limit how much we ate.  (They believed a stomach ache cured all children of overeating candy.  It did.)

Then the fear mongering began. Suddenly, only psychopathic child haters gave out homemade treats or fresh fruit.  Parents needed to accompany children of all ages trick or treating, since children somehow magically lost the ability to do this alone.  Packaged candy needs to carefully examined by a responsible adult to ensure the candy isn't poisoned.

Where did our common sense go?  How did it get to be so bad?

This year, I am going to rebel against the fear mongering, against the insanity of it all.  This year, I am going to make homemade chocolate chip cookies and hand them out in sandwich bags as treats.  I may even include my phone number, so that concerned parents can call and ask me questions.

Why am I doing this?

Because someone has to.  Someone needs to point out the wrongness of this situation.  And it might as well be me.  The only question I have is, how many people are willing to join me?  Will you give out homemade treats or fresh fruit this year?  If the answer is "yes", please leave me a comment and I'll cheer you on.  If the answer is "no", I'd like to know why.

A Grand Introduction to.... Paul and Storm!!!!!

(From the Left)  Portal Pirate, Storm, Blue Butterfly, Paul

Just under a year ago, we took our kids to their first Jonathan Coulton concert.  We already loved JoCo's music - the kids regularly sang along with "Re:  Your Brains" and "Skullcrusher Mountain".  But little did we know we would meet what has become their other favorite musical group of all time - Paul and Storm!!!

While I had heard a song or two from them, I never really put together who this Dynamic Duo was.  Until, that is, that night.  Paul got up on stage, saw kids in the audience, and immediately apologized for his f*cking potty mouth.  I giggled - partly because of what he said, and partly because Paul just looks too innocence for such a potty mouth.  Storm played guitar as they sang "Opening Band" .  Then they went through the funniest song set list I'd ever heard.  We literally were almost peeing in our pants at them.  (They even made a funny joke about the audience peeing its collective pants!)

By the time JoCo came on stage, I knew two things:

1. I wanted a Paul and Storm CD.  (We bought one that night.)
2. Life at home would never be the same.

Since then, my kids now run around the house in the morning singing "Opening Band" at the top of their lungs.  They want their grandmother to cook a dog for Christmas dinner.  Oh, and I had to explain what nuns were, a rather comical conversation when you get down to it.  My son even plans to create a video for "Frogger - the Musical" using his Legos.  

So wherever you are, Paul and Storm, thank you for that night, and for everything since then.

Here they are with Jonathan Coulton.  I wouldn't want him to feel left out.

National Novel Writing Month - Craziness for 30 Days

In 2006, I stumbled across organized insanity on the Internet.   It was called National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo, for short).  The concept is quite simple - you agree to write 50,000 words in the month of November.  No editing allowed, no revisions, nothing shorter than 50,000 words.

I instantly fell in love with the idea, and proceeded to write a vampire murder mystery that year.  Since then, I have attempted NaNoWriMo just about year.  Sometimes I succeed, and sometimes I don't.  The point is, I always try, which leads me to learn something about me and my writing.

This year, I planned a novel called, "Crazy".  The protagonist is a lovely lady named Donna, who returns to her small hometown after a nasty divorce.  The first week back, she witnesses a local person go crazy and stab a waitress for pouring too much ice in a glass.  Donna investigates because she wants to do something other than sit around and mope.  But the investigation turns from a time-burner to a life and death situation, as more and more people start to go crazy.

Mwahahahaha!!!

Sorry, but I always get the urge to laugh like an evil scientist at this point in the plot summary. After all, I do know why everyone is going crazy, but I'm going to make Donna, the sheriff, and the CDC work their pants off trying to figure it out.

If you have every wanted to write a novel, please consider trying NaNoWriMo this year.  It's crazy, fun,  brain-taxing, imagination-stretching, and yet strangely satisfying.  My username is KatFrog, and you are welcome to friend me.  I always friend back. :-D

American Society: We're All In This Together, Folks

Imagine that you live in an apartment with several roommates.  You divide up the rent, the water bill, the electric bill, phone bill, ....  You don't measure how long each individual takes in the shower, or how much television any person watches.  Everyone just pitches in to pay for the apartment and amenities.  If you're lucky, your roommates will even tide you over on the bills when your car breaks down and you need to spend an extra $1,000 to fix it.

That's what we are, the American people.  We are roommates, all living in one big apartment called the United States of America.  Instead of rent and bills, we pay taxes to cover living expenses, such as the police, firefighters, public libraries, and schools.  Our living expenses also include maintenance of items previous generations "purchased", such a public roads and public parks.  When someone has  a "bad month", that means that they live under the poverty line, we help them out with the expenses.  Those who have extra pitch in more.

Why?

Because we are all in this together.  United, we stood for over 200 years.  But unless people stop being so greedy, and putting their own wants ahead of society, then we will be divided and we will fall.  

Emergency Dinner: Chicken and Rice

We all know what an emergency dinner is - you've gotten home from either work, shopping, or some other errand and it's dinner time.  Actually, dinner time passed you by 30 minutes ago, and now everyone (including you) is hungry and cranky.  You want to get food on the table as soon as possible, and you want to avoid hitting the local fast food restaurant again.

When our oldest son was seven, I worked in Denver and lived in Colorado Springs.  That meant I had a very long commute home, after which I needed to get dinner ready.  Let me tell you, cooking is definitely not one of the top 10 things I wanted to do after a commute.  So, I cooked extra on weekend and we ate leftovers at the beginning of the week.  Sometimes we ate pizza (he was seven, so we could not eat enough pizza for him).  But other nights, I'd whip up an emergency dinner.  No, it's not the healthiest dinner on the planet, but it beats fast food.

Tonight's Dinner:

Chicken and Rice

Ingredients:

• 2 c. of water
• 1 can (16 oz) of chicken, drained
• 1 can of cream of chicken soup
• 2 c of instant rice
• 1 c. of shredded sharp cheddar cheese (optional)

Directions:

1. Put water, chicken, and soup into a skillet.  Heat until the water boils.
2. Add the rice, mix well and cover.  Remove from heat and let sit for 5 minutes.
3. Spread the cheese on top of the mixture in the skillet and let sit another minute or until the cheese melts.

Voila!  Dinner is served.  I used the first five minutes of sitting time to set the table and finish the rest of dinner, and the last minute to call everyone to the table to eat.