How Not To Be An Internet Troll

While I've written a post or two about how to deal with trolls, it occurred to me that maybe a little public education would help the situation.  In other words, maybe some trolls are really just misguided people.  To that end, I've created guidelines for how not be to an Internet troll.

1. Stay on topic.  This seems simple, but it is quite easy to read a post that mentions either someone or something that triggers a strong emotional response.  Then acting on that response, you post your opinion on that someone or something, even if your opinion is not really on topic.  For example, locally there was a big, public debate about the school calendar, with certain board members vocal about opposite sides.  For several months after the debate, if a news article mentioned the name of one of the school board members, there was inevitably one or two comments that ranted about the school calendar regardless of the topic of the article.  Do you know how annoying it becomes to read an article about renovations approved by the school board, only to find the comments sections overrun with the same arguments about the school calendar?  The trolling leaves no room for appropriate discussion.
2. Keep it impersonal.  This means no name-calling, no insinuations about someone's intelligence, bodily functions or origins, and no comparisons to either inanimate objects, bodily parts, or other animal species.  Yes, I realize that someone just made a comment that only a dim-witted, Justin-Bieber-loving rock fart would say, but you  really shouldn't call that person a dim-witted, Justin-Bieber-loving rock fart.  It just isn't nice.
3. Corollary to rule 2:  Sarcasm is all right, as long as it's not personal.  If someone accuses you of attempting to cut them out of a conversation, ruin their life, or some other insane sounding accusation,  try responding with "After years and years of research, trying to determine the best way to remove you from the conversation, I find your comments validating.  Thank you."  
4. Don't needlessly soapbox on a thread.  By "soapbox", I mean don't simply repeat your current rant even if what you are posting on might be appropriate.  No one likes to be preached at.  
5. Don't act like every conversation is a contest for who scores the most points.  
6. Be nice.  I know that this sounds a bit simple, but if you always try to be nice, chances are you won't accidentally be a troll.

Welcome Back to School!!!

The 2012-2013 school year begins today in Cobb County.  Curiosity and trepidation fill the school buses as kids start a new grade.

Will I like my teacher?  
Will I have too much homework?  
Will I have friends in my class or classes?
What will happen this year???

Parents have just as many questions, wondering if they (the parents) will like the teacher, if their child/children will do well academically and socially, and if they will be able to afford all the related expenses (PTA, school supplies, foundations, new clothes, more school supplies,...)

Though I have said this before, I will say it again - talk to your child's teacher.

Teachers really are human, too, and will not either send you to detention or hate your child because you want to talk to her (or him).  So ask the teacher how she wants to communicate, either email, notes from home, or phone calls, and then treat her as a participant in your child's life.  I make a point of asking what is the teacher's preferred method of communication, even if the teacher says that all methods are acceptable.  Why?  Because the teacher either have 20-30 parents to communicate with (in elementary school) or hundreds of parents (in middle and high school), while I only have 1-8 teachers on my end.

Remember, opening the lines of communication now will help the rest of the year flow more smoothly.

How To Talk To Your Child's Teacher

As school begins, I want to address a topic that I hear about every year - how to discuss something with your child’s teacher. I hear about this from friends - I have even been asked how to discuss a problem with teachers. So I asked some teachers what advice they would give parents, and this is what I heard.

1. Know your student. This advice surprised me, but apparently some parents show up at school not knowing simple things about their child. Teachers want you to spend time with you child, learn their strengths and weaknesses, their likes and dislikes. It makes a conversation go better if the teacher isn’t trying to talk to a parent about how their child hates math when the parent thinks their child loves math.

2. Come prepared. If you want to discuss your child’s reading level, bring a list of current books that your child is reading at home. If you want to discuss a test where you disagree with the grading, bring the test along with you.

3. Remember, the teacher wants your child to succeed as much as you do. This is not an adversarial relationship. While I strongly feel it is a parent’s job to be their child’s advocate, that does not stipulate that the teacher is your opponent.

4. If there is a situation, please speak with the teacher before going to the principal. You end up annoying the teacher and the principal if you go to the principal first.

5. Let the teacher know why you want a conference, including all questions or concerns that you have, in advance. Chances are good that the teacher will know about any problems, but it is courteous to send out this information so that the teacher can be prepared.

6. Ask your teacher at the beginning of the year how he or she wants to be contacted. I have had teachers who want you to send notes, teachers who want phone calls, and teachers who want emails. Find out your teacher’s preference, and use it.

7. Also ask your teacher when he or she has planning time during the day. Typically, this is the time a teacher has for parent conferences. By getting this at the beginning of the year, you’ll know all year long what time you’ll need to get off for any conferences.

8. Arrive on time.

9. Leave on time. If you feel that a situation is not resolved because you need more time, ask the teacher for another conference to finish the discussion.

10. Bring your child with you, if your child is old enough (middle or high school age). When your child reaches an age where she or he can participate in a conference, let it happen. That removes the “he said, she said” that can occur when you and the teacher are discussing such topics as homework or projects.