Why I'm Not A Feminist, Pt. 2: Rape

Third wave feminists rants and rails against rape, painting a picture of a world dominated by sexually-perverted men who rape women as a means to establish their power and control.   They claim that our society propagates a "rape culture" where it's okay for a man to do what he wants with a woman.  There are even some feminists who claim that #YesAllWomen have been raped.

Let's address their concerns one at a time.

The world is filled with men rape women as a means to establish their power and control.

This statement is false, an exaggeration that spreads fear and misinformation.  First, in 2010 only  1.1% of women reported being raped.  That is not a large number, definitely not dominating and definitely not something you need to worry about.  Secondly, in 2010 1.1% of men reported being raped. That's right - women raped men as much as men raped women. Rape is not a female problem; it's a societal problem. The biggest difference between men and women getting raped is that we as a society either ignore men as victims or make fun of them for "letting" themselves get raped. Women have rape crisis centers, rape hotlines, specific laws designed to assist female rape victims; our emergency rooms even have special procedures that they follow to document a rape while caring for the female victim as best as they can.

Our society propagates a "rape culture" where it's okay for a man to do what he wants with a woman.

I think an important question at this point is how do you define "rape culture".  According to Wikipedia:

Rape culture is a concept within feminist theory in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality.

Behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, sexual objectification, trivializing rape, denial of widespread rape, or refusing to acknowledge the harm of some forms of sexual violence.

Sadly, we do have a rape culture because feminists trivialize the rape of men, deny that men are raped, and refuse to acknowledge the harm done to men.

Does this mean we don't have a rape culture for women?  I think that society has changed over the past twenty years, acknowledging it is not okay for a man to rape a woman and that it is not a woman's fault.  But we haven't even gotten around to acknowledge that male rape is a problem.

#YesAllWomen have been raped.

No, not all women have been raped.  I am insulted to think that women out there are attempting to include me as a rape victim when I have never been raped.  That degrades the pain and suffering of women who have been assaulted, burying them in the masses with a casual "it happens to everyone".

Truthfully, the number of women being raped has declined over the years, partially due to social pressures and partially due to educating men and woman on how to handle sexual situations.  There have been several successful campaign to teach men communicate with women to avoid a rape scenario, commonly labeled teaching men not to rape.  I find that particular title offensive to men because of the underlying assumption that every man will rape unless you teach him not to.  But we don't have any teach women not to rape campaigns, and most feminist take offense if you even mention the idea.  Because to acknowledge the need for such a campaign also acknowledge that male rape is a problem, and they don't want to do that.  It makes rape a better feminist topic if men don't get raped.

This is reason two why I'm not a feminist.  I know that rape is a social problem, not a female or male problem.  And we need to treat it as such.

Why I'm Not A Feminist, Pt. 1: Domestic Violence

Third wave feminism - a term that encompasses the latest trend of feminism and its attendant "battles".  I find myself shaking my head at this movement, because I see woman spouting rhetoric about equality while in reality asking for special treatment.   It's not good enough that woman now have the right to own property, the right to vote, the right to choose her career, even the right to choose what to do when she's pregnant.  No, now society needs to treat every woman like a special snowflake.  Nowhere is this more apparent than Twitter.

The hash tag #YesAllWomen has made the rounds at Twitter, a multitude of third wave feminists haranguing readers with trite messages about domestic violence, rape, harassment, and wages.

The level of arrogance in these tweets astounds me.  There seems to be some base assumptions:

• that most men sexually harass or rape women
• that society encourages such behavior
• that men don't work or don't work hard enough to earn their income
• that all men are responsible for the behavior of those who commit violent acts

It's almost unconscionable, how all men are being portrayed as evil and all women as victims.  Someone actually have to make a hash tag #NotAllMen to combat the attitudes found within the #YesAllWomen tweets.

Today, I am ignoring all the ranting about rape, harassment, and wages.  I will cover those topics next week.  Today, though, I want to discuss domestic violence, otherwise known as intimate partner violence (IPV).

 If a woman becomes a victim of IPV, she has several options.  There are at least 2,000 shelters for her to turn to, found from a plethora of websites.  There are several hotlines for her to call to get the same information, as well as programs to help her obtain housing, legal advice, clothes, furniture, and whatever else she needs to get out of her abusive relationship and start over.  She can even show up at a fire station or police station, and receive help finding a shelter.

But if a man is a victim of IPV...  I want you to try something.  Go to Google and search for "find a women's shelter".  The search returned a list of women's shelters in my area, all of them for women who are victims of domestic violence.  

Now search for "find a men's shelter".  Go on, I'll wait.

This search brings up information about homeless shelters.  There is not a single hit for helping a man who has been abused.  Not one.

You might think that we don't need men's shelters, but according to the CDC, in 2011 more men were victims of IPV than women.  Yes, you read that correctly.  About 5,365,000 men were victims of IPV, while only 4,741,000 women were victims of IPV.

This is not a singular phenomena either.  Unless you define "domestic violence" as being violence against women (which some people do), then men make up anywhere between 40% and 55% of domestic violence victims in the United States alone.

But women have society backing them and protecting them.  Women have the Violence Against Women Act of 1994 that provides funding to investigate and prosecute violence against women.  Where is Violence Against Men Act?

Society doesn't even see violence against men as a problem sometimes.  Watch this video to see how people react differently when a man versus a woman gets publicly bullied.

You see, society tries to protect a woman from abuse, but laughs at a man who suffers from virtually the same abuse.

In terms of domestic violence, I am definitely not a feminist because this is not a women's issue.  It's not a men's issue.  It's a societal issue, and it's past time to treat men with the same respect that we treat women.